Speed Dating

My first experience with Speed Dating was an eye opener. It was 12 five minute dates in a coffee shop in Downtown Toronto with a group of very professional looking gorgeous people. I just didn’t fit in somehow. The top I had chosen to wear was a little too tight, and it made me very uncomfortable. I didn’t figure out until about the 3^rd or 4^th date that I was talking too much, and not listening to what the guys had to tell me. I know I was not making much of an impression on anyone.

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of speed dating, the way it works is like this. You sit and talk with a man for about 5 minutes, then a whistle/bell/gong sounds, and it’s time for the men to move to the next table. You have all of 15 seconds to jot down on your score card if you felt a connection with the previous guy. If he also felt a connection he records that too, and at the end of the evening you hand in your cards, and the following day or two you get an email with the names and email addresses of the people who mutually connected.

So the next time I tried it, about a year later, I went with a sure-fire plan to get lots of connections.

I went off to the local florist and bought a bunch of carnations and a roll of florist tape. At home I cut off all the flowering buds, stood them in water, and then wrapped the ends in floral tape. I made sure I had enough button holes for all the dates I would have. This time the venue was a bar. I bought myself a drink and sat down and waited for the event to begin.

Each man that sat at my table was surprised at receiving a flower. I knew this time I had made an impression, and wouldn’t easily be forgotten. All the men I had recorded on my card also recorded me on theirs. So of the 15 potential dates, I chose and got 12 emails addresses.

More recently I got an invitation to do a Speed Dating event with FastLIfe.ca at no cost, but the catch this time was that it was being filmed for an upcoming reality TV show. The theme of the dates was, “Toy Boy”. Basically the women were older and the men were between 25 and 35. When I joined this group I had lowered my age by 5 years, because all the invitations I was getting was for really old men! I said I was 48.

I arrived at the event where there were men and woman standing around while the crew got things organized. I chatted to a few people at the bar, and already had an idea of who I was interested in.

We were told that we would be interviewed and asked why we were interested in dating younger/older people. When it came to my turn, they asked my age and told them my real age without thinking! Fortunately they didn’t kick me out.

The dates began and one of two cameras was close to me with the boom just above my head. I chatted, listened, laughed and had a fun time, but realized pretty quickly that there really wasn’t much there that I was interested in.

After about the 6^th date I had to comment to the camera guy. He had spent a lot of time filming me and my dates. So I asked him if there were any other interesting people around. He ignored me! When the following date sat at my table the camera was again in my face.

“Really guys?” I asked?

They took the hint and moved to another couple. As it turned out the guy at the table was the most interesting and attractive. He said that in fact he had lied about his age and was older. So we had something in common. Our short conversation ended up being quite risqué. I recorded him as a yes, and waited for the next date. The camera guy came back, and I toyed with him saying that he missed the best date yet!

The next day I received my email address and after contacting him, he seemed to have lost interest.

Look out for the show, Love Inc., it airs sometime in 2010 on Slice

Older Singles Meet Up

I joined a Meet Up group for older singles and have attended 2 interesting events.


The first was for women only. It was to inform women what attracted men to the opposite sex. Although there was no professional guest giving solidly researched information, the host did her best having done her own research, and used her own experiences.

All of the women there were divorced women. I was the only one who had never been married. That is not to say that I haven't experienced relationships and the ending of them. As the evening went on I got the impression that many of the women were bitter and blamed all men for the faults of their last bad relationship. I tried a number of times to spin the conversation into a more positive light, but was shot down, because I had "never been divorced."

The end of the evening couldn't come fast enough for me. Hanging out with a bunch of women who enjoyed bashing men, (who were not there to defend themselves) was not my idea of a great evening.


The second event was a barbecue, with over 100 people. I arrived fairly early and after paying the fee of $15, I walked into the yard only to see a receiving line of people lined up against the right angles of the fence.

Immediately I wanted to jump in the middle and shout, "I'm here now, the party can begin!" But being my first time I held back. It reminded me of the school dances where the boys stood together and the girls hugged the walls, neither one looking at the other. So I started at the beginning of the line and introduced myself to each and everyone.

We all had name tags on, so the dialogue went, "Hi George, I'm Mary. Nice to meet you." Then I went on to the next person and continued until I got to the last person. After introducing myself I asked him to come to the middle of the yard and talk to me. Then it seemed that people relaxed a bit and moved around a little.

These were older people 40+ I think, which makes me wonder what they are shy about. Surely we get bolder as we age, or is that just me? I don't care much what people think, if you don't like me, that's your problem.

Anyway it turned out that there were way too many people in that tiny yard, which made it difficult to walk around and meet everyone. Some people were complaining about there being no booze, others wondered where the music was. The host purposely excludes both to encourage socializing.

I was given a ride home by another guest who promptly asked for my number. Why, oh why do I always get that guilt feeling? Why is No so hard for me to say? My mind told me that since he gave me a ride all the way home, I should at least accept a cup of coffee from him some time in the future. Why? He was not attractive or interesting. There was neither spark nor fizzle. I need to make the word No much more accessible in my vocabulary.

Introductory Service

Before internet dating there were introductory services. I’d get about 2-4 names and phone numbers with a profile in the mail each week. We’d phone and talk to see if we had anything in common, to see if there were any sparks, to see if we should meet. Sometimes it was just one short phone call, sometimes many long ones. I was tricked on many occasions when my mind would draw a picture to match the voice, only to be disappointed when we met.

Many of my dates were unbelievable. Many were boring. Few were interesting.

One date I had was with a very nervous man. He picked me up at my building, and that was when I noticed the tic. Also he was about the same height as me. I’m short, really short.

He didn’t have a car, so I thought we’d take a cab. However he wanted to take the local transit. That was okay. We went to the revolving restaurant at the top of the Manulife Building.

He talked about himself all night, not asking about me.

He continued the tic throughout the date. I was afraid that I might end up subconsciously imitating the tic too.

He didn’t order a drink, or anything to eat, and I was afraid that he was going to stick me with the bill. Sure enough when the check came, he just left it on the table. After some time I got up to use the washroom, and slid the check towards him and asked him to pay while I was in the ladies room. When I returned he asked me if I could pay the tip!

While in the elevator in front of others, he suggested that I’d be okay to see myself home.

I was amazed the next day when he called and asked for another date.

Six Degrees of Love

I have experienced love or what could be considered love probably 6 times in my life.

My first love, Kevin was when I was 15. He was at the same boarding school as me, and he was a year younger. We shared so much in that last year at school. It was a sweet and simple love. But it ended once I left and went on to work, and he continued his education.

The second was a blind date. But now I think about it, it was lust more likely. Larry was a musician playing trombone with the Woody Herman Orchestra. We made each other very happy. Even though he went to England on tour and asked my parents for permission to marry me, it wasn’t meant to be. His was a life I couldn’t keep up with, and so I decided to leave.

The third was my son’s father, who still refuses to think of my son as his. Stanley was also a musician who played trumpet for the National Ballet of Canada Orchestra. We had a passionate fling, he being 17 years older; I am convinced that was infatuation, not love. When I got pregnant, he wanted nothing to do with me. I thought that if I didn’t push, he’d come around. My son doesn’t know his father.

The fourth was a man that I met through an introductory service, (pre internet dating). Looking at Ron I thought we had nothing in common, but I felt at ease talking to him. After 2 years I ended the relationship, realizing that it never really was love. I was happy to have someone accept me as a woman with a child.

The fifth was not really love, but it sure was fun. I hung out with a neighbour who was in the entertainment business. We hit it off, but he had a girlfriend who was overseas. He was looking for someone, as was I, to go out with and have a bit of fun. That’s what we did, until he married his girlfriend.

And finally the real true love of my life. George. Again a blind date, and again I thought we had nothing in common, but he was the sweetest, loving man I’ve ever met. In fact the relationship was so great, that we questioned why things were so perfect. We made the decision to go with it full tilt, and enjoy the ride. It ended three years after we met. He died suddenly, and I missed him incredibly.

In the mean time I have had my share of dates and short relationships that were fun initially, but fizzled out when the excitement vanished.

I am open again to find the man who will enhance my life. And I do have a lot to offer.

Okay...

My life is one full of adventure, mishaps, travel, challenges, ups and downs. And now on to another adventure, looking for love.

I have tried online dating.

• Lavalife was so much fun. I noticed that when I listed myself as looking to date or relationship, that I got almost no attention. But the minute I signed into intimate encounters, there were men jumping out of the monitor trying to get my attention.
  

• eHarmony seemed promising as I filled out endless pages of information on what I wanted and what I was like. Alas, the two men who showed interest fizzled out when it came time to meet. I had over 250 profiles sent to me and only 2 showed mutual interest. I even tried to increase the area I was willing to travel, but that didn't work either. Six months of looking and nothing to show for it. Not even a date.

• Plenty of Fish is a free site that sends matches regularly, but looking at the men and their interests was a bit disheartening. Too many men like to cuddle up in front of t.v. watching a movie. Where is the adventure, where is the excitement and anticipation?

I've tried social network groups.

• Meetin has a group here in Toronto, but is seems to be younger people who are new to the city looking to make friends. It is also well known that it is not to be used as a dating site. I did attend many events and even hosted a number of my own, but no potential boyfriends showed up.

• Meetup has so many groups it is hard to keep them all straight. I did join a over forty's singles group, and the first event was for women only!! And it seemed to me that the night ended up with the majority of the women bashing men. I tried on two other occasions to join meetings but alas, they were canceled.

• Couchsurfing is a fantastic online group where people offer their homes to others from anywhere in the world to stay a night or two. You can travel and see your destination through your host's eyes. I have hosted over 40 people in the last 2 years, the average age of the surfers is 30 perhaps. I have made amazing friends, but no potential dates here either.

• Meet Market Adventures was tons of fun. A group specifically for people who love adventures and to meet others who have similar interests. I enjoyed so many of the adventures, horse back riding, glidersoaring, dog sledding, circus school, hiking, and so much more. The average age was about 30. Made lots of friends again, but no dates.

So what else is out there?

• The bar scene. I'm so over that, although if there is potential there I will give it a go. Where do all the eligible men go, you know, the ones looking for a woman over fifty?

• Take a course. I can't think of courses that would interest me that men would be interested in too. Scrapbooking? Card making? Gluten-free cooking?

• The Gym. I'm a member at the gym, and I love working out there. It seems the men are there to take care of their bodies, not looking for over 50 women.

• Speed Dating. Been to many and figured out how to get men interested, but once we have exchanged email addresses, there seems to be little interest on their part. Why put my name down, if you aren't going to call me?

I am sure I am missing other ways of meeting men who are looking to enhance their lives by having me in it.

But what are they?

Where are they?

THERE'S NO JOB TOO BIG, (oh yes there is!)

I have the summers off and decided that it would be a great idea to clear out my scrap room, purge and put stuff back in an organized manner.

What a joke!

I took EVERYTHING out of the room and put it in the living room on Monday. I did this because I have a guest coming to stay today, and knew it would be incentive to clean it up quickly. WRONG!

I did quite a lot everyday, but it just didn't seem to look like I did anything. So today I scrambled about trying to organize stuff, but unfortunately I ended up just shoving stuff in boxes and putting it in the scraproom. I still have time to spend in there doing little bits every day, but it really is overwhelming. And I only threw out about 2 garbage bags of stuff, and have only a small box of giveaways. I really tried hard to get rid of stuff I don't use anymore, and stuff that has sat around for a year collecting dust.

My biggest sin is the scraps of left over paper and cardstock. I just can not throw it out. I have promised myself to go through it again early next week and throw out those little strips and pieces smaller than 4 x 4.

Last night in bed I was convinced that I have some sort of illness that makes me think I need more stuff. With all the paper, card, embellishments, stamps, inks, and other yummy stuff, I still visit any store that sells stuff that I think will fit on a card or page.

Insane!

Also I realize that when you do decide to organize, it makes sense to have the right boxes, shelves, and storage systems BEFORE you start. Well at least now I know what I need. The room is only 5'9" x 9'6", and with all the mismatched shelving and boxes, that don't fit, I realize I need to go out and invest in some useful pieces, (lol, more money to spend!)

What a way to spend a holiday weekend!

Colonoscopy Journal

Someone sent me this in an email and I loved it so much I had to add it here.

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture ofgoat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point.

Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

Food Inc