New Shoes

I was home one afternoon a couple of weeks ago watching an Oprah show when it was announced that for the rest of that day and the following day there was coupon on the Oprah website that allowed 50% off anything at Payless shoes.  And wonder of wonders, it was good here in Canada too!

So  I printed up a copy and added it to my facebook so that other friends could take advantage of it too.

I went the following day and found 2 pairs of shoes, just like the ones I bought in the summer, as well as a pair of boots.

It was like paying the price of the boots at regular price, and getting the shoes free!  Not a bad deal.

Thanks Oprah!

Halloween

Here we are, the 3 staff in my classroom.  Myself, the Black Widow Spider, the teacher the Hippy and the educational assistant, the pumpkin woman.

 

My costume is missing the extra legs I made.  When I sewed them all together, I didn't realise that I wouldn't be able to move my arms around very much, so I was restricted.  Therefore after only an hour I took them off.  The dress is hard to see like this, it is a very fine black lace type of material.  I am also wearing a black veil which I had originally wore over my face, (the widow bit), but turned it around to the back while I was working.  Some of the kids thought I had dyed my hair black.  NEVER!  It makes me look really old!!  I have really long fake eye lashes on, that fascinated the kids.  The best comment I had all day was from the non verbal autistic boy I work with, when he got off the school bus he said, "Mary's new eyelashes", then about 2 minutes later he said, "Butterfly kisses, please!"  So of course I had to give him some.

Below is my son's very first Halloween costume.  He is 18 months old.  I cut the feet off an old yellow sleeper that was too small, put on an old red hat I found at Goodwill along with his red rubber boots, and added a little make up.  The intention was for him to be a clown, but the kids who came Trick or Treating at our door thought he was Ronald McDonald!

Bully

I am at a loss as to some people's actions.  I work in a school, where we are supposed to be examples for the children we work for.  Today I experienced something quite unbelievable and incredibly unprofessional. 

I have been sick with the 'flu for about a week now, with a wicked sore throat, fever and sneezing as well as feeling totally exhausted. 

When I picked up my mail at home today there was a brown envelope, addressed to me, without a return address.  When I opened it I found 4 pages of information on hypochondria.  There were a few paragraphs high lighted.  The high lighted sentences were about depression, how people thought they had something wrong with them, when there is nothing wrong with them, about how they bring it on to themselves.  Someone from my school sent this to me, because no one else knows that I have been sick, other than my doctor.  She would not send me information from Wikipedia, and would not send it anonymously. 

We have all heard about cyber bullying but this is another sort of bullying.  I find it incredible that someone that I work with would get such pleasure out of sending this to me.  Do they think they are trying to be helpful?  No.  Do they think they are offering me advice?  No.  It is sheer meanness, harassment, attempt at intimidation, and an attempt to push me over the edge.

I was shocked when I got this, but the gloves are off, and although I can't prove who sent this to me, (because they have chosen to be cowardly in not taking responsibility for it), I will have the last say.  I plan on taking this to the superintendent, and the board of education and show that my human rights have been attacked.  So be ready, whoever you are, because I don't allow ANYONE to attack me in such a way.

And remember, what goes around, comes around.

Thanksgiving in Canada

Well here we are again, another long weekend holiday.

I don't celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday as such, although I do have things that I am thankful for.

Usually these holidays are focused around food, and I am not much of a lover of food. Also I don't have any family here in Canada, so I don't do the whole family get together thing. So I think I miss out somewhat.

In the past I have invited others who also don't have family locally, to join me in a potluck and last year I was invited to join others for their Thanksgiving celebration.

As it turned out, it was more than a meal with friends, I discovered that the hosts knew an old friend of mine from many years ago, so we got to catch up on our lives.

But as I mentioned I do have things that I am thankful for.

Unfortunately over the past few days I have been a bit down so I have only been thinking 'poor me'!

I am not enjoying my job much lately as I am not being used to my potential. Nothing worse than being bored sitting doing little or nothing when you have so much to offer.
I have had disagreements with a co worker who sort of broke the code of ethics according to the union rules, and I am tempted to do something about that.
I also got a telling off by the administration at work, who pointed out something that I did that was unacceptable. He repeated it at least 3 times, and so as you can imagine I had to retaliate, and I reminded him of an occasion when he did something that was way worse. He tried extremely hard to remain calm, but I could see in his eyes that he was furious!

I refuse to have people try to put me down, when I know that they are threatened by my strength. So that being said, I really feel that a change is about to happen. Perhaps I need to find a new job, perhaps I need to let others know what is going on. Not sure what direction I will end up going, but it is only a matter of time.

I am spending my evenings in front of the tv, wishing I had a partner to share my daily comings and goings with, and sometimes feeling a little sorry for myself. No partner, no family, no happiness at work, and seemingly not much to be thankful for.

But I do have things to be thankful for.

I seldom get phone calls from my family in England. Out of sight, out of mind I guess.

I am always the one who calls. It gets to me sometimes. I feel like I don't matter to them.

My son does call a couple of times a month, and one of my sisters will send an email once in a while.

But I really do have things to be thankful for.

For example, today at work, the child I am responsible for was away, so I got to spend time with other teachers. I even had a recess break, AND a lunch break with other adults!

I have an amazing apartment that I can afford to keep. And the view is pretty spectacular.

I have nutritious and delicious foods in my fridge, that is delivered by Front Door Organics, and I can afford to have that option.

I have a few very good friends that I can call up when I am feeling low, and they know the right things to say to me, to reassure me that I am a wonderful person, and I am worthwhile.

My family have a huge responsibility back home in England with my dad, who lives alone in a 3 bedroom house, and is in the throws of Alzheimer's disease. I am thousands of miles away and I don't have to worry about that sort of thing. I call a few times a month and talk to him, and that really is all I have to do. Well that's all I can do. I do go home usually once a year to spend a few weeks with him, so that my sisters can have stress-free time to themselves.

I do have a job that provides money for me to treat myself to things on occasion. Like the $2000 I just spent to pay for a trainer who will help me get my body in shape, which in turn will help my mind.

I get enjoyment from my paper crafts. People love to receive the things that I make for them, and I get satisfaction when I complete a project.

I have a $500 blender that makes amazing smoothies for breakfast.

My son is independent enough to spend months and years at a time in another country teaching children English.

So I do have things that I am thankful for.

It's just sometimes I need to be reminded! I guess Thanksgiving is good for that.

Breakfast

This morning I got up early and did some chores that were piling up: laundry, compost, recycling and dishes.

After they were done I decided I needed a hearty breakfast and decided on pancakes.

I haven't really been able to find a tasty gluten free pancake, so as long as I added lots of fruits to the ones I made this morning, they tasted good.

3 strawberries, 1/2 pear, a few raspberries, a small banana with 2 gluten free pancakes.

Wild and Wonderful Weekend

Last weekend made up for my crappy uneventful summer vacation.

It began with my monthly Board Games Night. I usually invite the Meetin group and sometimes the couchsurfing group. This time I invited both groups, plus the MeetUp games group. I had a fantastic turn out of over 30 people. We had great food, drinks, fun and socializing. The best ever to date.

It continued with me dressing in Red and White for a Flash Mob especially for TIFF. Check out the You Tube video, I am at 1:20 on the left side. It was so funny, people stopped to try to get a glimpse of someone famous.

I followed that with a ride down to Harbourfront where I partook of delicious foods at the Vegetarian Food Festival. I ate at Govinda's the Hare Krishna food stand. Delicious and only $6. I sampled other foods, and bought some Hemp milk. I found a lovely hair accessory that was made in South Africa. I also signed up for Front Door Organics, and will expect my first order of fresh organic fruits and vegetables grown in Ontario to be delivered on September 23.

Then at 5pm I called a friend who surfed my couch last year for TIFF. He is a screen writer, and although he wasn't staying with me this year, he mentioned that he'd like to take me out for a vegetarian meal. He told me that he had been really busy, and wanted to know if I might be available to attend an after party for a movie that he was seeing. Of course I said yes. He said that he was waiting to hear from a couple of other guests that he had invited, but if he didn't hear from them in the next hour, then he'd call back and tell me where the event was taking place. He said I'd need some sort of cocktail dress. So after hanging up, I ran up the street to Winners and bought myself a great dress and got back just in time for his 6pm phone call telling me where to meet him.

The movie he saw was "Get Low". As I waited for him to arrive at Atelier I watched the cars arrive and out of the first one was Sissy Spacek. She was followed by Robert Duvall and then a young star I wasn't familiar with, Lucas Black. And finally Bill Murray showed up. Eventually my friend Martin showed up and we went in. What a great night. I met some cute young guys who took an interest in me, and I spent the majority of the night with them. Martin left after an hour as he said he had other stuff to do. The 2 young guys took me to another club after, and we danced the night away.

Sunday arrived and I was feeling excited about the day. I met up with some couchsurfing friends at the corner of Yonge and Dundas for a 'Free Hugs' event. I made a sign earlier and held it above my head and gave out hundreds of hugs. It was so energizing and made me feel so good. I had a number of people comment that I gave great hugs. One person went as far as to say I gave out 'Mom' hugs! One group of friend were leaving, but I just wanted to keep going! I stayed and then another group joined me. I actually met a few people that I knew, and 2 of them hugged me before they even realized it was me! When it was time to stop, again I felt that I wanted to go on hugging people. But since everyone was leaving it wouldn't have been safe to do it by myself. I did have a few propositions whilst hugging some guys, as well as a couple of sneaky kisses and a bum smack!

So that was my amazing weekend, full of excitement and fun.

Unfortunately this weekend will be nothing to compare as I have a sore throat, and all I want to do is sleep.

Double Date?

Another date I had was with a guy who owned a motorbike shop. That should be fun, right?

I had taken a day off from work, just to chill out when he called and suggested that we go for a ride in his car. I agreed and he picked me up. Little did I realize that the ride was to pick up equipment and supplies for his shop? He seemed to revel in showing me off to his suppliers.

This wasn’t my idea of a date.

He said we would go out for lunch after we dropped off the stuff at his shop. At the shop introduced me to his staff.

This is when he told me that one of his staff had also received my name and profile in the mail, because he was also a member of the same introductory service. So he thought it would be a good idea for all three of us to have lunch together.

As it was, they talked shop the whole time and I was virtually ignored. I couldn’t wait to get home, and was annoyed with myself having wasted my precious day off.

Speed Dating

My first experience with Speed Dating was an eye opener. It was 12 five minute dates in a coffee shop in Downtown Toronto with a group of very professional looking gorgeous people. I just didn’t fit in somehow. The top I had chosen to wear was a little too tight, and it made me very uncomfortable. I didn’t figure out until about the 3^rd or 4^th date that I was talking too much, and not listening to what the guys had to tell me. I know I was not making much of an impression on anyone.

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of speed dating, the way it works is like this. You sit and talk with a man for about 5 minutes, then a whistle/bell/gong sounds, and it’s time for the men to move to the next table. You have all of 15 seconds to jot down on your score card if you felt a connection with the previous guy. If he also felt a connection he records that too, and at the end of the evening you hand in your cards, and the following day or two you get an email with the names and email addresses of the people who mutually connected.

So the next time I tried it, about a year later, I went with a sure-fire plan to get lots of connections.

I went off to the local florist and bought a bunch of carnations and a roll of florist tape. At home I cut off all the flowering buds, stood them in water, and then wrapped the ends in floral tape. I made sure I had enough button holes for all the dates I would have. This time the venue was a bar. I bought myself a drink and sat down and waited for the event to begin.

Each man that sat at my table was surprised at receiving a flower. I knew this time I had made an impression, and wouldn’t easily be forgotten. All the men I had recorded on my card also recorded me on theirs. So of the 15 potential dates, I chose and got 12 emails addresses.

More recently I got an invitation to do a Speed Dating event with FastLIfe.ca at no cost, but the catch this time was that it was being filmed for an upcoming reality TV show. The theme of the dates was, “Toy Boy”. Basically the women were older and the men were between 25 and 35. When I joined this group I had lowered my age by 5 years, because all the invitations I was getting was for really old men! I said I was 48.

I arrived at the event where there were men and woman standing around while the crew got things organized. I chatted to a few people at the bar, and already had an idea of who I was interested in.

We were told that we would be interviewed and asked why we were interested in dating younger/older people. When it came to my turn, they asked my age and told them my real age without thinking! Fortunately they didn’t kick me out.

The dates began and one of two cameras was close to me with the boom just above my head. I chatted, listened, laughed and had a fun time, but realized pretty quickly that there really wasn’t much there that I was interested in.

After about the 6^th date I had to comment to the camera guy. He had spent a lot of time filming me and my dates. So I asked him if there were any other interesting people around. He ignored me! When the following date sat at my table the camera was again in my face.

“Really guys?” I asked?

They took the hint and moved to another couple. As it turned out the guy at the table was the most interesting and attractive. He said that in fact he had lied about his age and was older. So we had something in common. Our short conversation ended up being quite risqué. I recorded him as a yes, and waited for the next date. The camera guy came back, and I toyed with him saying that he missed the best date yet!

The next day I received my email address and after contacting him, he seemed to have lost interest.

Look out for the show, Love Inc., it airs sometime in 2010 on Slice

Older Singles Meet Up

I joined a Meet Up group for older singles and have attended 2 interesting events.


The first was for women only. It was to inform women what attracted men to the opposite sex. Although there was no professional guest giving solidly researched information, the host did her best having done her own research, and used her own experiences.

All of the women there were divorced women. I was the only one who had never been married. That is not to say that I haven't experienced relationships and the ending of them. As the evening went on I got the impression that many of the women were bitter and blamed all men for the faults of their last bad relationship. I tried a number of times to spin the conversation into a more positive light, but was shot down, because I had "never been divorced."

The end of the evening couldn't come fast enough for me. Hanging out with a bunch of women who enjoyed bashing men, (who were not there to defend themselves) was not my idea of a great evening.


The second event was a barbecue, with over 100 people. I arrived fairly early and after paying the fee of $15, I walked into the yard only to see a receiving line of people lined up against the right angles of the fence.

Immediately I wanted to jump in the middle and shout, "I'm here now, the party can begin!" But being my first time I held back. It reminded me of the school dances where the boys stood together and the girls hugged the walls, neither one looking at the other. So I started at the beginning of the line and introduced myself to each and everyone.

We all had name tags on, so the dialogue went, "Hi George, I'm Mary. Nice to meet you." Then I went on to the next person and continued until I got to the last person. After introducing myself I asked him to come to the middle of the yard and talk to me. Then it seemed that people relaxed a bit and moved around a little.

These were older people 40+ I think, which makes me wonder what they are shy about. Surely we get bolder as we age, or is that just me? I don't care much what people think, if you don't like me, that's your problem.

Anyway it turned out that there were way too many people in that tiny yard, which made it difficult to walk around and meet everyone. Some people were complaining about there being no booze, others wondered where the music was. The host purposely excludes both to encourage socializing.

I was given a ride home by another guest who promptly asked for my number. Why, oh why do I always get that guilt feeling? Why is No so hard for me to say? My mind told me that since he gave me a ride all the way home, I should at least accept a cup of coffee from him some time in the future. Why? He was not attractive or interesting. There was neither spark nor fizzle. I need to make the word No much more accessible in my vocabulary.