Saturday, June 16, 2012

No drivers license????

I contacted Ron. He looked good in his pictures and they were recent.  He is 54, 5'10", looking for a long term relationship, and is a vegetarian. Good enough.

We met on a Sunday at my favourite spot, Balzacs coffee shop. There was also a food festival of some sort going on in the district. Ron said he would be carrying his motorcycle jacket. He arrived a little late, but worth the wait, as he was great looking.

We got drinks, and started talking. It was almost too good to be true. We talked about anything and everything. Vacations we took, family, (he bought a duplex so that his mother could move in downstairs and he could look after her), work, (turns out he knows a couple of people I know in the film industry), foods we like, galleries we enjoy, everything.

I found a gluten-free lunch item at the food festival, and sat down to eat it, when my phone rang, and I ignored it, as I was having such a great time. It rang again, and I also got a text. It was from a friend who was going through a rough patch and needed me to come over and help her. I said I'd be there as soon as I could.

I apologized to Ron, but he said he'd drive me over there if I didn't mind riding his bike. That was very thoughtful of him, especially as it was interrupting our date. On the way over, he asked me if I liked Chinese food, and said that would be out next date.   Next date.  We were going to have another date!!!!

He dropped me off at the cafe my friend was at, and I introduced them.

After he left I told my friend about the great date, and that we were going on a second one.

The next day, I got this email:
Hi Mary. I had a really nice time yesterday. A boy like me could really go for a girl like you. You're attractive, seem to have your head screwed on right and are so easy to get along with. But, as I look for a partner to move forward into semi retirement and beyond (and I know this may sound ridiculous), the not driving aspect strikes me as a major impedance. I don't mean around the city so much as I do road trips, holidays, car rentals, emergencies et al.
I'm sorry. Ron

I couldn't believe it! Because I didn't own a driver's license, he wasn't interested. He didn't even think to ask if I would consider getting one. So I shot one back saying that I was sorry he felt that way.  Then I guess he felt he had to explain further.
Mary. I genuinely feel bad. I think we have a lot going on. But I know from experience that having both members of the team participating in all that driving entails is, in a nutshell, way better.
I didn't enter into this dating arena with driving as an issue. (Surprisingly I've yet to run into this.) And, as I was recapping our excursion, the idea of it kept surfacing and surfacing. Stupid I know. But I also know myself enough to know that I wouldn't be happy. I feel so bad and not just for you but for me too.
Anyway, good luck with it all, Ron

So there you have it! 
Do you believe it? 
I found it difficult.

Are you out there, you know, the one who wants to chauffeur me around? The one who isn't homophobic? The one who knows how to shake a girl's hand? The one who knows how to carry an interesting conversation? The one who is interested in me? 

Perhaps I am asking too much.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Another one bites the dust

I met Larry after a quick contact on POF, at the Distillery District, one of my favourite places for first dates.

He is 53, 5'11" and wants a long term relationship with a woman who share his love of outdoors. He doesn't smoke, do drugs or has any 'baggage'. Sounds good, right?

We met, and got ourselves a drink and decided to sit outside. We talked about our family, job, activities we like, the usual. All seemed to be going really well. Then after an hour or so, a large family sat near us, and were very loud. I asked if he'd like to go for a walk, to which he answered, "you're like me, you don't like to be crowded". So we set off to walk around. A minute later I saw a friend of mine from school. Larry asked me what I was looking at and I asked him to excuse me for a minute so that I could say hi to my friend. I walked over and gave Peter a hug, and he introduced me to his boyfriend, and another friend who was taking their picture. I said it looked like engagement pictures, to which he laughed and said they were just having fun. He asked me what I was doing there and I said I was on a first date, I turned to introduce him to Larry, but he had vanished. I scanned all over, and finally saw him about 100 metres away. Peter told me to go. I went over to Larry, and he said, "Well I'm sure you have things to do, I am going to my car and it's that way" he pointed the opposite direction to where I lived. I was going to say that I didn't have anything to do, but said instead that I had a good time, and that I felt we had hit it off. He said, "Keep in touch," so I knew that meant he wasn't interested.

When I got home I shot off an email saying again that I had a good time, and he said again, lets keep in touch.

I never heard from him again. Could it be that he was so shallow as to be homophobic? Everything was going well until I spoke to Peter.

Oh well, better to find out now rather than later!