Sunday, April 18, 2010

Good Luck

Having made the decision to go out with guys who contact me through the dating websites that I am a member of, I accepted a date with Donald.  His profile said he likes the active life, and mentioned he was trying to get a business up and running.  Also on the subject of "Do you like to drink?" he had responded, "Prefer not to say"  I felt this was a little suspicious, so my first email to him asked him about it and I mentioned that I was allergic to alcohol (in case he was an alcoholic and was looking for a drinking buddy!)  He replied that he too had an allergy.

I suggested a coffee shop not too far from me, and while I was waiting for him I saw a friend who I met through Couchsurfing and started chatting to him.  A few minutes later I felt a man staring at me, saw it was him and introduced Donald to Dave.  I walked to the counter to order my tea, and asked Donald if he was getting something, to which he replied, "no, I've already had my tea."  I paid for my tea, and while I was putting milk in it I suggested that Donald find us a seat.  (I was a little surprised that he didn't offer to pay for my tea).

I noticed immediately he was uncomfortable making eye contact.  I understand that nerves get the best of us sometimes, but I need a confident man in my life, not someone who embarrasses easily.  I started with easy conversation to put him at ease, and that seemed to help.

We talked a little about the things he was interested in and it sounded like he no longer participated in them.  His family is a bit fractured by divorce and he doesn't see his kids much and most of his interests were their interests.

He told me a lot about his kids, his ex, his dog, his motorbike, his therapist, his cat, and little about what he does for a living.  I got the impression that he hasn't had a job in 2 years, and is having a hard time finding work.

I told him a little about my son, why I came to Canada, my work, my experiences of the dating scene, and this and that.

I was really hungry, so I said I needed to go home and eat.  We got up and he asked if he could walk me, and I politely declined the offer.  At the corner I said that it was nice meeting him and I wished us both good luck on our search.  He had a genuine stunned look on his face.  It made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I was surprised that he thought we had any chemistry.

I walked home looking forward to eating something, but once I got home the fire alarm in my building went off and I smelled smoke.  The garbage chute was on fire again, this was probably the 4th time its happened.  So by the time the fire was out and the fire fighters left I was starving!

The alarm went off again later on, so I left the building to meet some friends at a nearby pub to talk about the problems we have dating!

This morning I got an email from Donald who said the he guessed Good Luck meant I had found something in him I didn't like.  I responded saying it wasn't something I didn't like, just no chemistry.  He wrote back saying he didn't think that chemistry could be developed or felt in a coffee shop. I wont respond any further, as I don't want to continue any relationship with him.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Limp Fish

My last date was one I have had too often.  I was contacted through an online dating site by Jim who said I was pretty.  I checked out his profile and saw a man that looked older than his years, and his profile description showed me he was a man who liked an even keel, with little to no excitement to offer.  But he contacted me and I want to try to see through any invitations that I get.

He had suggested we go to the Distillery District for tea, so I agreed.  I met him at the market, then we walked over to Toronto's first pedestrian only village.  On meeting him, I offered Jim a handshake only to receive a very limp hand that made me want wipe my hand on my jacket!  Doesn't EVERYONE know that a firm handshake is the desirable method of a first greeting?

From Wikipedia:
"It is considered to be in poor taste to show dominance with too strong a handshake; conversely, too weak a handshake (sometimes referred to as a "limp fish" or "dead fish" handshake) is also considered unseemly due to people perceiving it as a sign of weakness. Because a first impression can last a lifetime, the handshake is actually very important when meeting people for the first time and a weak handshake can instantly make people form negative opinions of you"

I found another article on 'Manly' handshakes here.  Quite funny actually.

So we talked on the walk over and my impression of him didn't change.  We sat in the coffee shop sipping our tea chatting about this and that, and still my impression didn't change.  He told me that he could not stand hearing people swear, (and my first thought was, "WTF?").  He told me he loved to eat cheese.  He told me that he was an accountant, (but I had figured that out already!)

After 30 minutes or so I left to use the ladies room, and on return I remained standing and suggested we leave.  He insisted on walking me home, where the conversation remained bland.  A block before my building I said goodbye and he wanted to offer me his business card, but he couldn't find one.  Just as well really.

I wish I knew the secret of finding a good guy to date.  Or even just a guy who has interesting things to say, or perhaps just a good firm handshake.

The search continues........

Sunday, April 04, 2010


I have 4 days off for the Easter holiday. I don't do religious holidays, just lost faith along the way. But I am grateful for the extra days off, as it gives me a chance to reconnect with friends and family. 

I spent most of Friday at home tidying and putting stuff away. It was a record breaking temperature, but when I went out, it didn't feel that way to me. So I didn't feel too bad about staying in. I did go out on my E-bike to pick up a new vacuum cleaner, as my old one broke 2 new belts on the first try. I found a good one that does floors and carpet, and it is very light weight.

On Saturday I went grocery shopping and got some great deals. I also went to Joe Fresh to check out their new summer stuff. It was another warm day, although not record breaking this time. I found some great deals on tee shirts, as well as a cardigan and a pair of shorts. I dropped into the St. Lawrence Market to pick up a few things, and found a Kinder Surprise egg that I bought for Thomas, and then promptly ate it later that afternoon! 

 I spent the majority of the day outside, enjoying the sunshine. I took a few photos of flowers that have blossomed already. Those poor things will have a shock when the temperature returns to the normal for this time of year.

I called my aunt in England, she is my mum's sister, so it's almost like talking to my mum. We had a good laugh about roller coasters and other daring activities she used to love to sneak away and do. Later I chatted with a friend in England on Skype, he didn't even realize he had Skype till I messaged him on it! 

Sunday I am cooking brunch for Beatriz and just chilling out. I plan on making some omelettes, hash browns, and tomatoes with some fresh strawberries, blueberries and bananas with yoghurt for dessert. 

Happy Easter everyone.