Saturday, October 22, 2005

Laws of the natural universe

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Thanks For ......

I am Thankful :

FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES BECAUSE IT MEANS HE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT BECAUSE IT MEANS I A M CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.


FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY,

FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

THANKSGIVING



Here in Canada we celebrate Thanksgiving in October. For me it is mostly an excuse for a day off all to myself. Don't get me wrong, I do give thought to the things I am thankful for, but I don't really need one day a year to do this, I try to do it everyday.

There are other reasons that I don't really celebrate this holiday. I am vegetarian, and HATE tofu, so no tofurkey for me, thanks! Most holidays are centred around two things, food and family. I have an adult son, and that is my family. All other members of my family live in England, and they don't have a Thanksgiving holiday there. So no family, no turkey equals no Thanksgiving!

I work in a school and am always grateful for a day off, especially this one, as it is the first after going back to school. So plans for this long weekend are as follows:
Shopping
Cleaning
Scrapbooking
Relaxing
Reading
Walking in the crisp fall temperatures in my neighbourhood in Toronto


HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE
*Check out the link on the title.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Laughing baby

I got this link from an email today, it's not the first time. But today when I turned up my speakers and listened for a few minutes, I really smiled at this.
I had a long day today helping out with the school cross country run, and was very tired when I got home. After listening to this simple giggle, I was really uplifted and found more energy to get other things done.

Just click on the title and turn up your speakers, its cute, and it will make you smile.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

40 Year Old Virgin

Beatriz and I went to Amore for dinner last night it was fabulous as usual.

We then went on to see the movie '40 year old virgin.'

It was so funny, I almost wet myself laughing! We were laughing so loud, but it just couldn't be helped.

Go see this movie!

But a warning to those who are offended by sexually explicit language, you might want to pass!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Make Poverty History

Back to School



Well my first week back at school, and it went really well.

Having spent the last 3 months at home it was a relief to get back to work. The usual 2 months off during the summer was great, but then with the sudden surgery date, and I ended up having another 4 weeks off. So eventhough I am not quite fully healed I just had to get back into the swing of things in the classroom.

I am working with 3 classrooms and love them all. I am divided up between 2 kindergarten classrooms during the morning and a grade 2/3 for the afternoons. I am in contact with 4 children with autism thoroughout the day, as well as about 7 or so behavio0ural kids. I realised yesterday that I can't do the physical stuff I used just now, as I got hit and one of my scars opened up and started to bleed a little. So I will have to leave that stuff up to the Educational Assistant for now.

Beatriz and I will be checking out a movie today. She has been waiting to see "40 Year Old Virgin" as I haven't been able to laugh without hurting, so we will be able to have a good laugh today.

How to deal with toxic people

Remember that you can’t change toxic people, but you can learn to cope with them and neutralize their impact on your life. Here are some effective strategies to try.

1. Always stand at eye level with the person you are confronting. Never have them standing over you, looking down.


2. Respect the toxic person and always expect respect in return. Settle for nothing less.

3. Remain calm. A calm cool response to an angry verbal barrage can neutralize a toxic experience.

4. Listen attentively.

5. Don’t argue or interrupt, just listen.

6. Don’t accuse or judge, just state how you feel about the situation..

7. If the toxic person tries to verbally bully you, just say, “ I’m sorry but I don’t allow people to treat me this way. Perhaps we can continue this when you have calmed down.” Then slowly and calmly walk away.

8. When someone is being toxic to you here is a powerful response and one that is easy to use because you don’t have to say a word. In the midst of a toxic attack just ........ PAUSE....LOOK AT THE PERSON, WITHOUT EMOTION......TURN AND WALK AWAY. It works!

9. While anger is sometimes a valid response it has to be used as a last resort. Anger doesn’t usually accomplish anything with a difficult parent and can actually cause further alienation.

10. Put your qualifications on display. Whether people like to admit it or not they are impressed by paper qualifications. When you enter a doctor’s office you see behind his/her desk all the degrees, diplomas and additional courses taken in various medical fields etc. When you see this you begin having more confidence in the expertise of the doctor. I think teachers should do the same. Behind your desk have copies of your degrees, teacher’s certificates, professional courses taken etc. mounted on the wall for all to see.

11. When Interviewing a difficult parent never sit behind your desk.. Move your chair out from behind the desk and place it close to and in front of the parent. This sends a strong assertive message to the one being interviewed. It says, “ I am comfortable and confident in this situation. That’s just the message your want to send.

12. Never underestimate the power of a stern, disapproving look. It certainly saves you words and allows you to assert yourself with minimum risk. If someone is doing or saying something that puts you down or tries to overpower you, give them a look of disapproval which says loudly and clearly, “BACK OFF”.

13. Selective silence is one of the most effective ways of dealing with difficult people. It is easy to use, and very low threat. When people are being difficult, they are often seeking attention and power. When you respond verbally to their toxic attack you are giving them attention and power they desire. When you use selective silence you deny them both attention and power. You are basically ignoring them and no one likes to be ignored.

14. When you are being harassed by a fellow staff member you must, in the interest of professional ethics, have the courage to confront. You can do this verbally face to face, or in writing. Stay calm and professional. You can say something like this. “ It has come to my attention that you have some concern about my teaching. Is this true?” Listen calmly and carefully to their response. Follow up with “ Perhaps you could put your concerns in writing. I will study them and get back to you with my written response.”Great harm is done to a teacher’s reputation and well-being by a fellow teacher acting unprofessionally. Challenge them.

REMEMBER.... You don’t exist to be anyone’s doormat.