Well here we are again, another long weekend holiday.
I don't celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday as such, although I do have things that I am thankful for.
Usually these holidays are focused around food, and I am not much of a lover of food. Also I don't have any family here in Canada, so I don't do the whole family get together thing. So I think I miss out somewhat.
In the past I have invited others who also don't have family locally, to join me in a potluck and last year I was invited to join others for their Thanksgiving celebration.
As it turned out, it was more than a meal with friends, I discovered that the hosts knew an old friend of mine from many years ago, so we got to catch up on our lives.
But as I mentioned I do have things that I am thankful for.
Unfortunately over the past few days I have been a bit down so I have only been thinking 'poor me'!
I am not enjoying my job much lately as I am not being used to my potential. Nothing worse than being bored sitting doing little or nothing when you have so much to offer.
I have had disagreements with a co worker who sort of broke the code of ethics according to the union rules, and I am tempted to do something about that.
I also got a telling off by the administration at work, who pointed out something that I did that was unacceptable. He repeated it at least 3 times, and so as you can imagine I had to retaliate, and I reminded him of an occasion when he did something that was way worse. He tried extremely hard to remain calm, but I could see in his eyes that he was furious!
I refuse to have people try to put me down, when I know that they are threatened by my strength. So that being said, I really feel that a change is about to happen. Perhaps I need to find a new job, perhaps I need to let others know what is going on. Not sure what direction I will end up going, but it is only a matter of time.
I am spending my evenings in front of the tv, wishing I had a partner to share my daily comings and goings with, and sometimes feeling a little sorry for myself. No partner, no family, no happiness at work, and seemingly not much to be thankful for.
But I do have things to be thankful for.
I seldom get phone calls from my family in England. Out of sight, out of mind I guess.
I am always the one who calls. It gets to me sometimes. I feel like I don't matter to them.
My son does call a couple of times a month, and one of my sisters will send an email once in a while.
But I really do have things to be thankful for.
For example, today at work, the child I am responsible for was away, so I got to spend time with other teachers. I even had a recess break, AND a lunch break with other adults!
I have an amazing apartment that I can afford to keep. And the view is pretty spectacular.
I have nutritious and delicious foods in my fridge, that is delivered by Front Door Organics, and I can afford to have that option.
I have a few very good friends that I can call up when I am feeling low, and they know the right things to say to me, to reassure me that I am a wonderful person, and I am worthwhile.
My family have a huge responsibility back home in England with my dad, who lives alone in a 3 bedroom house, and is in the throws of Alzheimer's disease. I am thousands of miles away and I don't have to worry about that sort of thing. I call a few times a month and talk to him, and that really is all I have to do. Well that's all I can do. I do go home usually once a year to spend a few weeks with him, so that my sisters can have stress-free time to themselves.
I do have a job that provides money for me to treat myself to things on occasion. Like the $2000 I just spent to pay for a trainer who will help me get my body in shape, which in turn will help my mind.
I get enjoyment from my paper crafts. People love to receive the things that I make for them, and I get satisfaction when I complete a project.
I have a $500 blender that makes amazing smoothies for breakfast.
My son is independent enough to spend months and years at a time in another country teaching children English.
So I do have things that I am thankful for.
It's just sometimes I need to be reminded! I guess Thanksgiving is good for that.