I joined a Meet Up group for older singles and have attended 2 interesting events.
The first was for women only. It was to inform women what attracted men to the opposite sex. Although there was no professional guest giving solidly researched information, the host did her best having done her own research, and used her own experiences.
All of the women there were divorced women. I was the only one who had never been married. That is not to say that I haven't experienced relationships and the ending of them. As the evening went on I got the impression that many of the women were bitter and blamed all men for the faults of their last bad relationship. I tried a number of times to spin the conversation into a more positive light, but was shot down, because I had "never been divorced."
The end of the evening couldn't come fast enough for me. Hanging out with a bunch of women who enjoyed bashing men, (who were not there to defend themselves) was not my idea of a great evening.
The second event was a barbecue, with over 100 people. I arrived fairly early and after paying the fee of $15, I walked into the yard only to see a receiving line of people lined up against the right angles of the fence.
Immediately I wanted to jump in the middle and shout, "I'm here now, the party can begin!" But being my first time I held back. It reminded me of the school dances where the boys stood together and the girls hugged the walls, neither one looking at the other. So I started at the beginning of the line and introduced myself to each and everyone.
We all had name tags on, so the dialogue went, "Hi George, I'm Mary. Nice to meet you." Then I went on to the next person and continued until I got to the last person. After introducing myself I asked him to come to the middle of the yard and talk to me. Then it seemed that people relaxed a bit and moved around a little.
These were older people 40+ I think, which makes me wonder what they are shy about. Surely we get bolder as we age, or is that just me? I don't care much what people think, if you don't like me, that's your problem.
Anyway it turned out that there were way too many people in that tiny yard, which made it difficult to walk around and meet everyone. Some people were complaining about there being no booze, others wondered where the music was. The host purposely excludes both to encourage socializing.
I was given a ride home by another guest who promptly asked for my number. Why, oh why do I always get that guilt feeling? Why is No so hard for me to say? My mind told me that since he gave me a ride all the way home, I should at least accept a cup of coffee from him some time in the future. Why? He was not attractive or interesting. There was neither spark nor fizzle. I need to make the word No much more accessible in my vocabulary.